Being happy is probably the one emotion that we as a human race are constantly seeking above all else.
You may have goals to be financially free, to own a nice house or car, to travel the world, to marry the person of your dreams and start a family – whatever it is that you are seeking, ultimately we are all wanting happiness in our lives.
There are a lot of definitions of happiness out there, and it really is an individual thing – you have to define for yourself what it means to you.
For me happiness comes from appreciating where I am right now in my life and being grateful for all of the things that have shaped me into the person I have become. It’s a sense of fulfillment that comes from living life with passion and authenticity.
Happiness isn’t something that can be sought externally, it comes from within. So with this in mind it makes sense that your internal state is going to affect the energy that you are putting out into the world – be it positive or negative.
“You can’t have a positive life and a negative mind”~ Joyce Meyer
So here are 3 things to stop doing RIGHT NOW if you want to be happy.
To blame is essentially to assign reponsibility for something happening or occuring (or not) to someone or something else other than yourself.
Blaming keeps us stuck where we are because the circumstances are “outside of our control” and therefore we can justify to ourselves why we are not where we want to be.
People who blame always seem to have an excuse don’t they?
It’s not my fault I am late for work, the traffic was bad today.
It’s not my fault I missed the deadline, Anna didn’t give me the information I needed on time.
It’s not my fault I can’t stick to my diet, John shouldn’t have tempted me with that cake.
If you are constantly blaming everything else for where you are in life then you are never going to be happy.
To complain is to express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.
Complaining has become such a way of modern life. We complain about the weather, about the traffic, about our jobs, our ailments. Whatever is going on in our life, we can find something to complain about.
Complainers give out their negative energy to whoever will listen, trying to pull everyone else down with them to get them to see their point of view.
And of course because so many people are unhappy with their own lives, they in turn feed off this negativity.
Again, if all you are putting out there is negative energy, then that is all you are going to get back. That’s no way to happiness.
To judge is to form an opinion or conclusion about something.
Often we can be judgemental about other people. We gossip about them behind their backs because they are not living their lives in the same way that we do, according to our standards and ideals.
Or we judge others because they are out there doing the things that we are too scared to do – it highlights our own insecurities.
They say that if there is something about another person that annoys you, maybe you need to be looking in the mirror…
We are often our own worst critics too – self judgement and criticism is just going to spiral us into more self loathing and negativity. Often this comes from comparing ourselves to others and not believing that we live up to expectations.
Doesn’t sound like a recipie for a happy life to me.
So what can we do?
The only way to be happy in my opinion is to take responsibility for your own happiness. Of course this is just my opinion, and you may have a different one, which is fine (as long as you don’t judge me for mine 😉 )
Understanding that you are responsible for everything that you do or do not have in your life if the key to really being happy, because then everything is within your control!
And if you are not where you want to be then who is to blame? Trick question – nobody is to blame because we are not playing the blame game anymore remember?
Seriously though, if there is someone or something in your life that is bringing you down and affecting your happiness, you are the only person who can do something about it.
So quit looking for external things to make you happy and start looking within.
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